It’s been nearly a year since I started working on this website, and in that time, a lot of things have happened in my personal life that have made it difficult to get back to work. Part of this is motivation, the other part is time. There simply isn’t enough time in the day for me right now to get as in depth as I want to trying to make a website look the way I want it to. I have a difficult time trying to focus on tasks these days due to the overwhelming feeling of how pointless all of this feels. I am, to put it simply, burnt out and unable to find motivation to do much of anything at all. I had to close down the original business that I started with, move two different times, and deal with the aftermath of two family members passing away. I haven’t had a single bit of good news in over two years, and that doesn’t appear to be changing anytime soon.
Maybe this is a little too much to dump out in a blog like this, but I need to make it clear that I have not neglected this website out of a lack of desire to build it. I’ve neglected it because I am tired. I am out of hope. I just feel awful more days than I feel good, and I’ve had to take a lot of time to myself in order to reach a place where I feel somewhat normal again. I still don’t think I’m there yet. A lot of my drive to write or work on projects for myself has been stripped away under the weight of how emotionally exhausted I am. I really haven’t had the time I needed to actually heal from anything, and that doesn’t appear to be changing anytime soon.
Sorry for how dour this blog is. I needed something to post here while I work on the website again in order to build a good blog archive. The next updates should be better than this one.